Elder Russell Allphin: Criminently, Family!

How’s it going? Wow, 4 months can you believe it! That is so crazzzy cool! Glad to hear all is well and the wheelers are still dealing—that makes me nuttin’ but chuffed!

Speaking of great TV shows, we were at a member’s house for lunch and guess what was on TV? Yeah that’s right, the Spanish version of dad’s favorite show of all time, "Married with Children". How they got the priceless copyright to that show and dubbed it into a Spanish is beyond me but I guess there is no escaping it....dang it! Also, at the same lunch, one of the member’s kids had an electric guitar and I got to play it. I got to play a Vampire Weekend song and Local Native’s songs on this guitar—it was nothing but amazing. I wanted to shout "I’ve got blisters on me fingers!!!" because it was so awesome to play the electric guitar again (and I really did have blisters on my fingers). Big news down here in TV as well: All week they are airing "Gone with the Wind". Everyone was fairly excited but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn <---that’s a pun, not real swearing.

It was a good week this week: The houses here still smell like Pirates of the Caribbean in Disneyland (oh, how I miss Disneyland) and church is still same ol' same ol' (for sacrament we have hot dog buns or sometimes these things called "tortillas" which are essentially sea biscuits (not the horse) but are good at the same time and its about 4 ($1.00) pesos for a big bag of them. And everyone’s table cloths are still Christmas themed.

Wednesday was the best day ever! I got your guys' package and everyone else in the pench got their packages, and we got paid (so we can finally eat again) and I got a ton of letters from you guys including one from Ethan, that drunguss! I miss that kid a whole bunch. It was a good day! I also got bit by a shaggy dog this week. He didn’t break the skin or anything, and he wasn’t diseased or anything, but I’m afraid I’m going to turn into the "Shaggy Dog" or, even worse, Tim Allen! We also baptized a kid from an inactive family this week. His name is Luis and he is a very tiny, tiny, tiny 10 year-old who we’ve been teaching for the last few weeks and his dad got to baptize him. It was very nice and lovely and the spirit was very strong there and we got to confirm him on Sunday—it was so nice! Luis has the craziest family and house! they have a bunch of kids and they are always trying to stab each other with toothpicks and they are always running around and yelling so, hopefully, being reactivated will give the family some peace. Also, when we were at their house, they had this metal stick on the table so we were bending it and playing with it and later found out it was made of lead. So if I die of lead poisoning, don’t be too shocked, I gave you all fair warning. Oh, when we were cleaning the font for his baptism, there was a HUGE spider in the font and I just about passed out. It was a wolf spider on steroids! Other than that, nothing that exciting went on this week.

I’m getting so much better in Spanish. I’m starting to take over teaching lessons and talking a lot more. Yesterday in church I was talking really well and thought during priesthood meeting: "my family is probably fasting for me to learn the language, huh?" As I thought of that I got this other thought in my head that said, "of course they are!" I was so touched by that I about teared up right there. I’m so thankful for you guys’ prayers and everyone’s prayers for me. I can really feel them and I know prayer is a real, powerful thing. Well, if there is nothing else, I guess its question time!

Did I get my package?

Yes! I did get the package and it cost me 10 pesos or $2.30 (whew!) It was awesome—good snacks! I love the book (Pete the Cat) too, ha-ha!

Do you like mate?

Sad news fam, we are actually not allowed to drink mate here. I know, right! It’s crazy but I am going to buy a sweet mate cup next week just for kicks!

Is the mp3 player working out?

Yes! The mp3 works splendid and Elder Rasmussen and I got some nice chill music from Elder Jennings this week and I got to put it on the mp3, its nice!

Did your baptisms go through?

We did get a baptism this week! But the baptism we really wanted, with Griselda, did not go through this week. She was busy moving her son into her house. We are teaching her son as well but he is a tough nut to crack ‘cause he is just all a-fussed about Joseph Smith being a Mason. We may need Nicholas Cage to come explain things in our next lesson.

Tell us about your bishop.

Obispo Sardinas is a way cool cat and kinda reminds me of Damon Hulsey. He is about 40 or so years old, I’d reckon

Have you seen Pres. Levrino since you’ve been in San Salvador?

I saw him at zone conference the first week I came here and he gave us a ride around Salta when we had to get our papers done. I also saw him on Wednesday because he was doing interviews during district meeting and he brought down the packages to us. He is such a good guy!

Tell us about a couple of your investigators.

There are these two investigators named, Maxi and Noella . They are a couple expecting a child in a few months and they are soooo cool and humble. They have a home that has no light, no power, no anything but they are so humble and they are so thankful for finding the gospel. They have been waiting for awhile to get married and today they are starting the week-long process of getting married (its super hard to get married here) but they are hopefully getting baptized in a week or 2 after that and I get to baptize them so I’m excited for that. They are such a good couple and they are golden! Maxi like pretty much memorized the Book of Mormon ha-ha.

Have you been able to eat pizza again?

I ate some pizza after watching the Joseph Smith movie at a member’s house and I was sketched out eating it but turns out, there was no incident this time! Phew! Another close call!

Tell us about some of the members.

We have some cool members in our area. Like this one guy, Hermano ******* (I wrote to you guys about him in a letter). He is this old guy who looks like he should be in the mafia but he is an amazing member, he is so nice and soooo cool. He met Pres. Hinckley, Elder Perry, and Elder Maxwell a few years ago and his sons are on missions right now. He is blind but is the High Priest Group Leader in the ward, he is just about the coolest guy, hands down, here

Well family, I’ve got to go with Elder Rasmussen right now to go bless the house of one of our investigators that has "ghosts" in it (I’m presuming its only Patrick Swayze) so I’ll tell you guys next week how that went. But thank you for all your letters and for all your prayers, fasts, and temple trips. It means sooo much to me. I can feel them working. I love you all and miss you all so much and I hope you have a great week, until next Monday, it’s all good!

Con amor,

Russ